An Artist at Play

The Week of Goodbyes

My dad officially moved to San Diego this past week. He said since I wouldn’t move, he had to. Really, he moved for a new job. Since the entertainment industry is mostly in L.A., I have to stay here. I’ll miss my dad, but I’m excited about visiting him in San Diego. It’s a great city and a friend of mine lives there, so I’ll be able to see her more. As I said in the previous blog, saying goodbye to my dad was like goodbye to my childhood. Being adult is kind of scary. Being a responsibile adult is a whole other story and something I can hopefully get away without doing for a little while longer. I should start by not drinking until after five. I’m kidding. After three.

I’m kind of freaked out about my dad moving because I used to go to his house and have peace and quiet. Now, I’m stuck at my house with people in and out all the time, my boyfriend, and my three bonkers dogs. I will miss dinners with my dad because he was the better cook. Do you feel the love?

The same week, my friend Martin left for Australia. Martin is my friend’s husband. They are a gay couple. They’ve been together for six years. Martin and his husband did not break up. Martin is from Australia and has been here on a student visa to be with his husband. He is part of our family. We’ve gone on many vacations together, celebrated birthdays, and Christmases. After I turned 21, Martin and I hit Vegas. We went clubbing. He was a great dancer and for the most part, kept the creepy guys who tried to pick me up away. Martin and his husband are registered as domestic partners so he couldn’t even marry someone just to get a green card. We suggested that to him. He refused. He wanted to be able to emigrate to the country legally. Seeing how our government treats homosexual couples, I can’t help but wonder how far has this country come? Our country claims to be very progressive but it’s not. If Martin was heterosexual, he’d be able to marry his partner. But because it’s not the way God intended us, they have to be apart. Yes, Martin looked for jobs in hopes of getting a work visa, but no one would hire him because even if he got a work visa, he had to leave the country and come back. His partner is devastated, as you can imagine. I’ve only been with my boyfriend for five and a half months, but I can’t imagine what it feels like to have the government say you can’t be together. I think if they had broken up, it would have been less painful, even if Martin could stay here. Even if the state’s vote to legalize marriage, it’s up to the federal government to honor it. Of course, if all the states legalize it, the federal government would automatically honor it.

All of us are going through a mourning period. People keep saying “Just Skype”, but Skype and actually having someone here are two very different things. I understand people are trying to be helpful, but just shut up. And I’ll block you on Skype. You can’t take a person out to dinner via Skype. And yes, they could write letters and try and to be romantic, but the point is they should just be able to be together. There have been talks about Martin’s partner moving to Australia, but both of their families are in America. Martin’s sisters are in America with green cards. One of them just got her citizenship, but it could take up to ten years for her to be able to sponsor Martin.

My dad left town by choice and that’s fine because I’ll see him again. Martin had to leave the country because he loved the wrong gender. In the immortal words of Lewis Black, “That’s fucked up.”


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